Burrough’s message, however aggressive, is raw and sincere. As a Codependent in recovery, I know the art of being too nice and keeping someone around just to have someone around.
As my healing has progressed, I have gained confidence and love of myself. Flippancy has become less and less prevalent.
Listen, If I commit to you, I’m all in. I’m invested. I want to see you reach your highest potential. I genuinely love you and want to see you at your happiest and healthiest. I cannot be this type of friend or partner to a large number of people.
Dating around has become difficult, because I can’t invest in getting to know and develop an emotional connection with more than a couple people- tops. At this point in my life, my energy is too precious for spaceholders or blaze.
-Maybe you’re so afraid of having no one, you keep friends that don’t really match your values. “Oh, I’ve known this person forever. We’ve had such good times together. They have been such a good friend to me.” Yet you keep someone in your energy that currently mistreats you.
-Maybe you placate people that you don’t like deep down to save face.
-Maybe you blindy agree to whatever people in your life do or want, irrelevant of your own needs or wants. You accept literally anything.
-Maybe you entertain a lover, because you like their attention. Yet, you don’t genuinely care for them. Maybe you know they care for you, but you give them breadcrumbs so you can have their attention whenever you’re feeling low or no fish are biting that you really want.
-Maybe you’re trying to make someone love you, who could not care less.
Love yourself more. The above is two faced. Its fake. How can you give what you really care about quality attention if you’re giving energy to what doesn’t?
Its okay to be selective. Have a curated life. Be confident enough to grab a hold of only what you really want and okay if it doesn’t grab back. Its also okay to say no or change your mind.