Tag: numerology

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Photo Credit-IG: Spiritual Enlightenment Quotes

The term “Self Care” has an association with bubble baths or indulgence in material comforts. Self Focus can sound selfish. However, Self Care and Self Focus are what make us thrive as individuals and is much more rooted in self empowerment and the reality in which we create.

For many of us, Self Focus sounds like a foreign idea, because its hard to think about ourselves.  Some of us have no idea what we want, how we feel, or, even, who we are. Many of us feel pulled in a million different directions with day to day life. Plus, the idea of making a change sounds terrifying. I was stuck in this mindset and pattern of thinking for many years.
I am a co-parenting mother of a seven year-old insurance/legal professional.  I graduated law school by the skin of my teeth in 2013, on the heals of my divorce from my son’s father. My son was one years-old. I had no immediate family in the state and had to juggle much on my own. I am a two time bar exam failure, third time success story as of 2020.
Beyond my failed marriage, I never had failed at anything in my life before the bar. I was a model student and fantastic employee. I worked hard and loved to learn. Failing the bar was a devastating blow to my self esteem and confidence. I knew the law well. I taught most of my study group concepts they struggled to understand. How could this have happened to me? Not to mention, the bar exam is only offered twice a year, and my legal assistant job, at that time, was barely paying the bills. My life had been on hold for the bar for over a year, and I was in no better position than when I sat for it the first time.
In 2015 I took a job in insurance for better pay and a change of landscape. I took to it quickly and excelled. It didn’t take long before I got bored, but comfortable.
From 2015 to 2019, I lived for 5 o’clock, Happy Hour and vacation time. I distracted myself from my feelings of dissatisfaction (among other things) with anything that could keep me preoccupied.  This started a period of my life where I simply lost passion, including for law. I climbed the corporate latter and experienced a lot of wins, but I felt a little dead inside.
It hit me in the Summer of 2019 that I was essentially one position away from “topping out” of my current area of insurance. The bar exam was never far from my mind, but the idea of even planning how to embark on that monstrous voyage- seemed impossible. However, I knew I would need to think about what next, sooner rather than later. As my child was getting older, and my circumstances were changing, I needed to think about expansion and what that looked like.
In the summer of 2019, I started to take baby steps toward the bar exam. I found some bar prep materials on Amazon, and a friend donated a lion-share of her prep materials upon successfully passing. At first, I didn’t really tell anyone that I was doing this- especially not my employer. The embarrassment of failing it again, and facing the entire world was of upmost avoidance. I studied in the evenings and on weekends.
Fate presented me with an opportunity to go to my last stop, in my realm of insurance. I am a remote or “work from home” employee, and just so happened to be in the office one day for a systems training, when I heard of a former colleague of mine was giving his notice.
The search for his replacement had not yet begun. I would get the first bite at the apple. The role my colleague was vacating, was the role for which I got into the insurance gambit, albeit my last stop.
The system training ended. I chatted with a few of my coworkers wherein I heard the news. I walked right into my old manager’s office, asked for the job, detailing my plan to take the bar exam. Therefore, suggesting that I do insurance related legal work for my company.
My secret, was no longer a secret. The pressure was on now. I had to get this done and it was going to take everything I had in me to do it. I have a very demanding job and I am a mom. I tapped into the resources in and around me. I woke up early and stayed up late.  From August 2019 until February 2020, I lived and breathed Bar Exam Prep Materials. I replaced television with Torts lectures and Facebook scrolling with Evidence Outlines.
The process of focusing on the one thing that I knew would give me the key to create the life I wanted for myself, was one of purification and cleansing. Bad habits and distractions fell away or had to take a back seat. I had to be highly diligent with my time. No, left my lips more than it ever had before. Social niceties for the sake of nice became unimportant. Further, I had to recognize the people in my life that took more than they gave, and what that meant for me and our relationship. It showed me the ways I gave to get love, and how that in turn caused me to deeply resent people for not living up to my insatiable expectations, which caused disruption in my life.
Whatever I lost in those months of study, I gained back ten fold. Focusing on what I needed to do for myself to create a life I don’t have to escape from, was nothing more than a great act of self care.
Whatever your “bar exam” is, in your life, now is the time to go towards it. Whenever we set a new intention, start a new path, or embark on a new idea, the universe echoes back to us. The echo can come in the way of a redirection or opportunity. You could experience synchronicity and strokes of luck.  You will never know unless you try.
What if you dont know what your “bar exam” is? Now is a time to figure that out. What lights a fire inside of you? The thing that you do, that some call work, and,  you feel like its play, that is your purpose in this collective consciousness.
Its easy to tell ourselves that we can’t do it, we are too old, or we have too many responsibilities bogging us down. That’s not true and a lie we tell ourselves to keep ourselves stuck. The world needs your light more than ever before, so go towards your passion or sit with yourself to find what that it is.
Namaste.

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On July 2, 2019, in the afternoon hours, we will enter a new moon phase in the zodiac sign of Cancer. This new moon is significant in that it coincides multiple planets in retrograde and a solar eclipse. This moon will be cleansing and deeply emotional, compounded with eclipse energy, expect some major change ups and revelations, especially involving what is near and dear.

Cancer is a water sign and is ruled by the Moon.  The moon rules our emotions, which are represented by water. The moon also represents our intuition and emotional intelligence. Cancer also represents feminine emotional energy, connection to our mother and maternal nurturing. She is a cardinal sign who often can have a more childlike approach to relationships. Cardinal signs welcome in the change of a season-a change in the season of life.

Cancer is a deeply emotional sign with a crustacean shell. She is hard to crack. The crab does not like to be vulnerable and keeps their deepest feelings safe inside their shell. Cancer is a family oriented sign who is very dedicated to those in her world. She is childlike and playful. She also hates to disappoint others and can hold a grudge like no other.  Cancer prefers to be at home and around people that feel like home and make them feel safe. She is often very entertaining and very nurturing. She can be a bit of  people pleaser.

Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto, and Neptune are currently in retrograde and Mercury is currently in shadow to go retrograde July 7th. Mercury is one of the most powerfully felt retrogrades, but during a new moon, especially an eclipse, all of these energies will be magnified.

Jupiter is retrograding in its home sign of Sagittarius. Jupiter and Sagittarius are energies about luck, travel, expansion and higher learning. This energy can create an itch to travel, dive deeper and learn something new, or a lust for new experiences. It could represent the culmination of efforts or reaching the final benchmark of something you have worked hard for.

Saturn is retrograding in its home sign of Capricorn. Capricorn is the hard worker of the zodiac and known for keeping the “nose to the grindstone.” Saturn is about boundaries, routine, and discipline. Areas of your life where you need more boundaries or issues of work/life balance could come into focus. Also, issues around a father figure or what reigns over you could come into focus.

Pluto is retrograding in Capricorn as well. Pluto is a planet of death and rebirth. Being in Capricorn, you may feel a need to declutter your life and let go of what seems impractical. This can also be a physical declutter and a call to organize your physical world. You will feel a need to shed what is dead and old to make space for change.

Neptune is retrograding in its home sign of Pisces.  Neptune is a planet about dreams, spirituality, and intuition. Pisces is a water sign that is very dreamy and a hopeless romantic. With Neptune retrograding in its home sign, this will draw us to focus on intuition and our emotional nature. It is a lesson on listening to  inner knowing and dive deeper. You may crave deeper connection around this moon. It is a good time to start a spiritual practice or reprioritize an existing practice.

Mercury will be in shadow about to go retrograde on the 7th and that will have an affect on this moon. Mercury goes retrograde multiple times a year and is usually well known by even the most novice astrology follower. It is a cosmic event that creates a lot of fear mongering. Mercury is a planet that controls communication, planning, travel, thoughts, and ideas. In retrograde, misunderstandings can arise, plans get hazy, and forward motion can be full of missteps. It’s just a period the sky is asking us to slow down. It is time to re-review, re-examine, and re-prioritize. Also, Mercury is retrograding in Leo. This energy can be filled with passion and a desire to be seen and noticed.  Communications can also come off as strong and demanding when maybe they are not intended to be. People can seem very self focused. The mishaps of Mercury retrograde typically draw us closer to areas in our lives that need attention. Aspecting Leo, this could make you evaluate how you communicate and express yourself.

So on top of all that, we have two eclipses this month, the first one a solar eclipse coinciding this new moon. Eclipses can bring people back and cut people out. The past comes back to finish up a cycle or a lesson.  A flailing relationship may reach its final demise. A sudden opportunity pops up out of nowhere. An eclipse is also a great time to quit a bad habit. The energy can aid in easing that which is hindering you out of your life.  It can also bring literal birth and death.

So what does all this mean? This moon is really going to be focusing on safety and nurturing elements. What makes you feel of service to others? Where are you over giving?  Where do you need support? What makes you feel loved and safe? Your inner child is coming out. Let’s get out and play.

Eclipses typically bring in endings. Sometimes the ending taking weeks or months to fully materialize.  You may also realize where you need more boundaries and routine needed to reach your goals leading to removals. This is a challenge to go with the flow and pay attention to what is not flowing. Re-evaluate and re-group.

Be careful not to let the clingy Cancer energy wedge an idea in your brain or view of a person that is a little naive. It will have major holding power. Hold out until you get more information and learn more. Illusion and fantasy can come easy this moon with Neptune retrograding in Pisces. Understand that people may over promise or stretch the truth a bit more. It’s not always intentionally deceptive, but well intentioned unrealistic expectations. Pisces and Neptunian energy can really create an environment where we are not seeing things clearly or communicating clearly. 

Let’s slow down and keep it light.

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On June 17, 2019 in the early morning we will enter a full moon phase in the zodiac sign of Sagittarius. This moon was called the “Thunder Moon” by some native Americans. Like any full moon, the moon will be at its brightest point in its transit.  It is a symbol of harvest and culmination of our efforts. With the sun in the late part of its time in Gemini, Jupiter retrograding squaring Neptune in Pisces, and Mars in Cancer opposing Saturn, this will be a moon of big plans, focus on self, expansion, vulnerability, heavy pondering, and conversation.

Sagittarius is a mutable fire sign ruled by Jupiter that is about adventure and looking past what is just beyond into the unknown. The archetype of this sign is the archer.  He can change course to follow his prey, but has the dedication to track it for execution. He can be blunt and direct.    Sagittarius can see the bigger picture, but can also have many highs and many lows.  He can be quick tempered, yet methodical and wise. He can be spontaneous, but reliable.

Mutable signs are changeable and adaptable. Fire signs are passionate and head full force towards what thrills them in the moment. Jupiter is the planet of luck, growth, and expansion. He brings a deeper understanding to help ground the fiery limitless thrill seeker of Sagittarius. With Jupiter retrograding, there will be a full circle energy surrounding certain areas of life. There be a feeling of needed change and how to make that possible. Change may come without our doing, but it brings a sense of coming full circle.

Neptune will be in its home sign of Pisces during this moon squaring Jupiter retrograding  in Sagittarius. Pisces is a very dreamy sign and can be prone to illusion and as a water sign, has deep emotions. Neptune symbolizes dreams, illusion, and spiritual enlightenment.  However, Neptune can represent deceit, trickery, and naivety, which are also characteristics of un-evolved Pisces.  This square can make us dream big and shoot for what seems impossible. This square can also make us unrealistic and prone to fantasy. You may feel more drawn to spiritual practice around this time. This energy also can act as a removal energy. Something needs to go to actually attain these dreams.

Mars will be in Cancer opposing Saturn during this full moon. Mars is a planet about action and aggression. It adds restlessness. Mars wants to drive forward. Cancer is a water sign that is highly sensitive, highly connected to family and very loyal.  Mars in Cancer likely can create disruption in the family dynamic or leaving us feeling extremely vulnerable and sensitive in connection to familial relationships. Saturn represents the father in astrology. Saturn also represents boundaries and established order. Saturn gives us structure. This opposition and these aspects, there may be a dispute arising out of day to day life or even among governing bodies. There may be a challenge of accepted authority.  There may be a major shift in a relationship with a family member or where you lack boundaries and need more order.  It may be time to quick a habit that is impacting important parts of your life. There may be an area you need more discipline.

Between the moon’s time in Sagittarius and it’s transit into Capricorn, it will be considered “Void of Course.” Being void of course there will be a big shift between seeing this big picture and dreaming big and pushing you into acting on those realizations. There will be a momentum building during this moon.

This Thunder moon is  the precipice of  major change. It is the rumble before the lightning strike. Something likely come full circle and a deeper realization may be obtained when it comes to self and family relationships. Some new individual truths will be realized.

The sun is in the later part of Gemini, but is mostly not attached to any one sign this moon. It is going to be Peregrine, put simply, it is not heavily aspected.  The sun represents self, so a self centered focus may be prevalent around this moon. This can bring a heavy sense of independence and feeling ungrounded. You may feel more focused on self improvement or what needs changing in your day to day habits. How do you fit into the grander scheme of things? You may be just a little selfish too and hungry for the spotlight.

The affect of Gemini will still play heavy with this moon. Gemini is ruled by mercury which is the planet of communication. You may feel “stuck in your head,” this moon having a back and forth conversation with yourself with the un-hinged sun. People may speak bigger and loftier than they really mean with the affect of Neptune. Words and thoughts can be a major trigger for change during this moon. There may be a lot of harsh and emotional communication. This is a good time to read between the lines of what others are communicating. Words are hard to take back once spoken.

There is a vision and idea we want to see realized by year’s end. This moon will give us the ideas to reach that goal, what needs to change, but it may seem difficult to be patient and put in the work until the moon moves into Capricorn. Write down your ideas. Focus on which goals are easily in your reach and go from there. Be realistic with yourself and others. This is also a time of finding out how we really feel and coming to terms with those emotions.

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On June 3, 2019 we will enter a new moon phase in the zodiac sign of Gemini. Like all new moons, this is a season for planting seeds. This is a time to start anew. This is a time to give it a spin. Its time to get up and go.

The energy surrounding this new moon is flipping a switch. There’s a buzz in the air.  There’s a sense of impending movement. The final bounce on the diving board.

June 2019 is a numerological 9 month. In Numerology, 9 represents a wrap up. Its that point when you have a birds eye of a subject and it’s various nuances. The point of understanding where you don’t get pigeonholed into one facet of something, but appreciate everything about it as a whole. It’s a place of mastery. Its right before a final completion or a test.

As a collective, we have moved into an energy of action. We get it now. Let’s do it and do it right. With this moon being in Gemini, and Mercury in Gemini still, there’s a sense of doing and also communicating.

Gemini is a mutable air sign ruled by Mercury. She loves to communicate and she loves to explore the deeper and higher notes. He is very outgoing and a great conversationalist. He can be a little hard to pin down, however. He tends to be more focused on “airy” logic and not so much emotion. Geminis are often called two faced or having two minds or two sides to them. They really just have a lot of thoughts and it’s hard for them to focus on something once it bores them and can vacillate. They like excitement. They like change. Unevolved, Gemini can be prone to gossip and flippancy. She represents the duality in us all and how to play with the dark and light energy. She also represents the battle of intellect and how we truly feel.

Mercury is still in Gemini until the middle of the week when she moves into Cancer.  This may be a week for a big conversation or communication on an idea or whatever new new you have in your head. I decided to start some kind of internet publication during last years Gemini new moon!

Overall, there’s a lot of ideas buzzing around. Some great, some not. Gemini rules mass communications so pay attention to what’s being reported and circulated. Check the finer details. This energy can also make us prone to discussing small minded things and maybe repeat something we know is false when we hear it just for conversation’s sake. With the energy of propulsion in the air, an ill advised verbal blowout may surface.

A little softness for all this air and wordiness, Venus, is in one of her home signs, Taurus, bringing in some grounding earth energy.  This energy will pull you towards something stable and safe. What feels like home? What fills your heart? However, Venus can be kind of Taurus’ devil on the bull’s shoulder. We need something down to earth this season, but it may come in the way of comforts too.  You may feel extra hungry. You may feel like indulging in all that feels good. You may feel like making your environment pretty. You may want to make a purchase that is a physical representation of your growth and abundance. The dance will be in how much of the impulsive air energy will you let overpower what is bringing you back down to earth? 

Among other planets, Jupiter is in retrograde still and it will have a calming energy to all this, bringing in a master’s approach and worldly understanding of where you are and where you have been. Jupiter will help us see the forest from the trees. It will help slow down that restless Gemini energy.

This new moon is a good time to set plans in motion for what you want to accomplish this summer or the rest of the year. Time to dream and take the physical steps.

 

 

 

 

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On May 18, 2019 we will enter a Full Moon phase in the zodiac sign of Scorpio.  This moon is also known as the Buddha Moon and was called the Flower Moon by Native Americans. This moon will also be considered a “blue moon,” although only in name. The popular concept of a Blue Moon is when there are two full moons in one month.  The traditional Blue Moon is the third of four moons in one season, which is occurring  this month.

Scorpio is ruled by Pluto and is a sign about death and birth- the phoenix rising from the ashes. Scorpio is a water sign that feels deeply and can be quiet intense.  Scorpio is also a fixed sign meaning they can be very stuck in their ways. Scorpio’s emotions fester and that water element has a tendency to come to a boil-needing to let out steam.  A moon in this sign is usually about bringing what is hidden to the surface and highly emotional. What is at the point of boiling over? What latent emotion needs to come to the surface? What are you keeping inside that needs to be expressed?Full moons are about endings and culminations of our labor.  This moon will be no different.

The namesake of the Buddha Moon is a nod to the death/rebirth of the Buddha when he gained enlightenment- leaving his role as a prince to seek something more.  An old self dying and re-birthing the man we know as the Buddha. The Flower Moon is representative of Flowers blooming around this time.  Flowers boom in place of what has passed on.

The sun will be conjunct Mercury  and oppose the moon in Scorpio during this phase. Mercury rules communication and thought. This aspect will create a need to communicate and express ourselves.  It will create a conversation between logic and emotion bubbling up.  Combined with the heavy emotional energy of Scorpio, there may be an urge to communicate in an impulsive emotional way.  However,  the sun is still in Taurus, who is not a sign known for being impulsive (even though she can be a bit harsh in her delivery of truth).  The aspect to Taurus will provide a softening energy to the Mercury aspect, bringing in a sense of observation and needing to gain perspective before speaking/acting. It will help ground and create stability with the emotion that may come up.

Coinciding this moon we currently have three planets in retrograde.   Pluto and Saturn are currently retrograding in Capricorn and Jupiter is retrograde in Sagittarius. These energies have already caused a lot of shakeup in the astrology world, but will also affect the energy of this moon phase.

Pluto rules Scorpio and is a planet about the unseen, shadow, and subconscious. Pluto is about bringing the truth to the light- she is a keen investigator.  She has been retrograde since April 24th.  You may have already experienced an unearthing of what was buried-even what you didn’t even know was buried. With this retrograde in Capricorn, an earthy, practical, and hardworking sign, Pluto might expose the areas where you need more joy. What latent desires are not being fulfilled. Maybe you are focusing too much on work and being practical and not enough on play.

Saturn is also retrograding in Capricorn, which is her ruling sign.  Saturn is the planet of karma.  Saturn is also about the day to day obligations and responsibilities of life. When she is in retrograde, what you may have been neglecting in your life will come to forefront.  The obligations you have been avoiding will start to nudge you to address them. You may experience an upheaval in your day-to-day routine and work-life.  If you haven’t been treating others well and being dishonest, that energy will likely come to roost during a Saturn retrograde. Saturn will also highlight areas we are being oppressed or being oppressive. It can also expose problems in family dynamics and structure.

Jupiter is retrograding in his home sign-Sagittarius. Jupiter is the planet of luck, success, and wisdom.  When she is retrograde there may be an urge to travel, learn something new, or seek new experiences.  Sagittarius is all about fresh, new, and adventure.  There may be an urge to make sudden changes due to a desire for something bigger and better.  It may be best to take a step back and evaluate before making any new big moves.  Once Jupiter goes direct you may not be so happy with any major life altering changes you made during the season.

Probably the biggest energy influence on this moon of the planets in retrograde will be Pluto in Retrograde, since Pluto rules Scorpio.  Pluto is only one degree from Mercur. This energy will push us to go deeper on what needs to be seen and communicated. Hard conversations may come about around this moon.

There are a lot of intense energies around this moon.  Trust that what may not be staying in your life, was not meant to be there.  Be open to having the hard conversations-some long needed heart to hearts may be ignited. Be mindful of your emotional state and how that needs to be expressed and what needs to be addressed.