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New Moon in Gemini
The Purification of Self Focus
Photo Credit-IG: Spiritual Enlightenment Quotes
The term “Self Care” has an association with bubble baths or indulgence in material comforts. Self Focus can sound selfish. However, Self Care and Self Focus are what make us thrive as individuals and is much more rooted in self empowerment and the reality in which we create.
For many of us, Self Focus sounds like a foreign idea, because its hard to think about ourselves. Some of us have no idea what we want, how we feel, or, even, who we are. Many of us feel pulled in a million different directions with day to day life. Plus, the idea of making a change sounds terrifying. I was stuck in this mindset and pattern of thinking for many years.
I am a co-parenting mother of a seven year-old insurance/legal professional. I graduated law school by the skin of my teeth in 2013, on the heals of my divorce from my son’s father. My son was one years-old. I had no immediate family in the state and had to juggle much on my own. I am a two time bar exam failure, third time success story as of 2020.
Beyond my failed marriage, I never had failed at anything in my life before the bar. I was a model student and fantastic employee. I worked hard and loved to learn. Failing the bar was a devastating blow to my self esteem and confidence. I knew the law well. I taught most of my study group concepts they struggled to understand. How could this have happened to me? Not to mention, the bar exam is only offered twice a year, and my legal assistant job, at that time, was barely paying the bills. My life had been on hold for the bar for over a year, and I was in no better position than when I sat for it the first time.
In 2015 I took a job in insurance for better pay and a change of landscape. I took to it quickly and excelled. It didn’t take long before I got bored, but comfortable.
From 2015 to 2019, I lived for 5 o’clock, Happy Hour and vacation time. I distracted myself from my feelings of dissatisfaction (among other things) with anything that could keep me preoccupied. This started a period of my life where I simply lost passion, including for law. I climbed the corporate latter and experienced a lot of wins, but I felt a little dead inside.
It hit me in the Summer of 2019 that I was essentially one position away from “topping out” of my current area of insurance. The bar exam was never far from my mind, but the idea of even planning how to embark on that monstrous voyage- seemed impossible. However, I knew I would need to think about what next, sooner rather than later. As my child was getting older, and my circumstances were changing, I needed to think about expansion and what that looked like.
In the summer of 2019, I started to take baby steps toward the bar exam. I found some bar prep materials on Amazon, and a friend donated a lion-share of her prep materials upon successfully passing. At first, I didn’t really tell anyone that I was doing this- especially not my employer. The embarrassment of failing it again, and facing the entire world was of upmost avoidance. I studied in the evenings and on weekends.
Fate presented me with an opportunity to go to my last stop, in my realm of insurance. I am a remote or “work from home” employee, and just so happened to be in the office one day for a systems training, when I heard of a former colleague of mine was giving his notice.
The search for his replacement had not yet begun. I would get the first bite at the apple. The role my colleague was vacating, was the role for which I got into the insurance gambit, albeit my last stop.
The system training ended. I chatted with a few of my coworkers wherein I heard the news. I walked right into my old manager’s office, asked for the job, detailing my plan to take the bar exam. Therefore, suggesting that I do insurance related legal work for my company.
My secret, was no longer a secret. The pressure was on now. I had to get this done and it was going to take everything I had in me to do it. I have a very demanding job and I am a mom. I tapped into the resources in and around me. I woke up early and stayed up late. From August 2019 until February 2020, I lived and breathed Bar Exam Prep Materials. I replaced television with Torts lectures and Facebook scrolling with Evidence Outlines.
The process of focusing on the one thing that I knew would give me the key to create the life I wanted for myself, was one of purification and cleansing. Bad habits and distractions fell away or had to take a back seat. I had to be highly diligent with my time. No, left my lips more than it ever had before. Social niceties for the sake of nice became unimportant. Further, I had to recognize the people in my life that took more than they gave, and what that meant for me and our relationship. It showed me the ways I gave to get love, and how that in turn caused me to deeply resent people for not living up to my insatiable expectations, which caused disruption in my life.
Whatever I lost in those months of study, I gained back ten fold. Focusing on what I needed to do for myself to create a life I don’t have to escape from, was nothing more than a great act of self care.
Whatever your “bar exam” is, in your life, now is the time to go towards it. Whenever we set a new intention, start a new path, or embark on a new idea, the universe echoes back to us. The echo can come in the way of a redirection or opportunity. You could experience synchronicity and strokes of luck. You will never know unless you try.
What if you dont know what your “bar exam” is? Now is a time to figure that out. What lights a fire inside of you? The thing that you do, that some call work, and, you feel like its play, that is your purpose in this collective consciousness.
Its easy to tell ourselves that we can’t do it, we are too old, or we have too many responsibilities bogging us down. That’s not true and a lie we tell ourselves to keep ourselves stuck. The world needs your light more than ever before, so go towards your passion or sit with yourself to find what that it is.
Namaste.
2020 Retrograde Season Reading
2020 Retrograde Season Retrograde
Much clarity is needed on a situation that runs deep. You either need to pull back or offer an olive branch. See the divine in the other and accept yourself so you may accept them. Learn from the energy of the past. You don’t owe anyone a thing. You need to take control of this before Saturn takes it out of your hands. Commit to higher learning and understand as part of your long term investments. Expand your sphere and seek guidance from those around you.
Ground and protect your energy
Meditation-https://youtu.be/IRRrmOgh37Y
Crystal Singing Bowl-
Tibetan Singing Bowl-https://yourcosmicconnections.com/
Crystals-https://yourcosmicconnections.com/
Tea-https://www.aromagregory.com
Moon Power Moon Power Tarot
Hollow Valley Deck of Symbols
Galaxy Teacup- Galaxy Tea Cup and Saucer Set, Astrology Celestial Gift Starry Night Cup by Vitraaze on Etsy
Five Points Street Market and Tarot Reading
My cards were calling today
They had a lot to say….
The precipice of a new phase is here
It is time to let go
You can’t take everyone with you
Let end what needs to end
You’re in the path of abundance
The past will not serve you
Connect to your higher self
Listen to the quiet voice calling you
Let go of anxiety and self doubt
Stand in your power
Get committed to your goals
There is much work to be done
There is sadness here and regret
Do not let loss thwart you
Expect miracles and the unexpected
It’s all waiting for you on the other side of fear
You’re headed towards a life you only dreamed of
I will be at the Five Points Street Market this weekend with HangtheMoon. I will be selling all the beauties in this photo and would love to connect with you!
Weekly Message
New Moon in Leo July and August 2019
On July 31, 2019 (or August 1, 2019 depending on location) we will enter a new moon phase in the zodiac sign of Leo. All new moons are about planting seeds and new beginnings. This moon is all about personal power and beginnings where that power is actualized. The Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars will all be in Leo during this moon, opening the door for fresh perspective, new action, and even new love. This is a bright and positive moon full of new possibilities. This new moon is a much needed breath of fresh air after the cosmic turbulence of multiple planetary retrogrades in July and the 2019 eclipse season.
Mercury went retrograde back on July 7th and will be stationing direct in the zodiac sign of Cancer on July 31st. Mercury retrograde is a well known cosmic event that can disrupt communications, plans, technology, and travel. The advice of a Mercury Retrograde season is about slowing down and reviewing and where we need re-direction. Mercury going direct coinciding this moon is a call to action. It is time to pick up where you left off at the end of June. What new action is needed on your goals after the mercury pause?
We are coming out the 2019 Eclipse season of July. Eclipses are strong cosmic events that often remove people and things from our lives. This past eclipse season may have cleared a path and aided Pluto’s retrograde in decluttering your life. This new moon gives us a clean slate to start anew.
The Sun rules Leo who represents “me” or “I” in the zodiac. It is an energy of our personal power and solar plexus chakra often represented by the king of the jungle- the lion. It is an energy about where we stand strong and where we can stand stronger. This is a very masculine go-getter energy. Leo energy loves being noticed and taking the spotlight. Leo energy is about standing tall, being true to yourself and values. Leo energy loves to bring people together and is often generous and loving. The Strength card in the tarot is the major arcana card representation of Leo. It is an energy about taming the beast within and overcoming tough emotions and doubt to achieve our goals. Leo, unevolved, can be very proud and attention seeking. He can also be overbearing and controlling. Be careful of pomp and circumstance just to protect your ego.
Venus moved into Leo in the latter part of July, the ruler of love, money, and aesthetic. This new moon may bring in new love or ignite passion in a long standing connection. You may feel a jolt of confidence and put yourself out there in a way you never have before. You may feel a bit extra. This is an aspect that pushes us to be bold in love-to take center stage. You may also be tempted to overindulge in the finer things and be more generous to your fellow man. Venus is also about higher learning and devotion. Your gestures of devotion may also be on the side of the dramatic.
Mars is the planet of action, war, and aggression. After the stalemate of Mercury Retrograding, this energy is a necessary propulsion to do what needs to be done to reach our goals. Mars can be a harried and pushy energy. It can be a bit rash and impulsive. Mars can make people speak harshly and act in a way that is not well thought through. Being in Leo, Mars may motivate you to rush towards a new opportunity that symbolizes your personal power. It may also push you to leap before you think. However, Venus is a feminine energy that will help soften the Mars aspect to this moon, so you can take needed action that isn’t just out of impulse.
Uranus is in Taurus and will have a heavy aspect to this moon. Uranus shakes things up and disrupts established order. An event or situation may bubble up that challenges the status quo. This may seem unsettling or hard to digest, but Uranus is clearing away something stealing your personal power. With Uranus being in Taurus, who rules the second house of finances, the shakeup may have to do with spending or something consuming your coins that is hindering your personal power. Uranus energy can seem disruptive, but this planet is clearing a path for your highest good. Allow whatever it knocks down to pass out of your life. This is a necessary obstacle for you to work through.
Neptune and Chiron will also have aspects to this moon. Neptune energy is about dreams and spirituality. Neptune energy can be positive in that it lets us dream big, but he can also create confusion and cloud our judgement on what is realistic. Allow yourself to dream big, but don’t get too lost in fantasy or make a commitment that isn’t maintainable. With Chiron being in the mix, currently in Aries, areas of healing will come up for review. Chiron will aid in healing areas affecting personal power. What past pain or events are causing you self doubt? It’s time to see it as part of your story that has made you all the wiser. No more excuses.
Keep in mind the negative aspects of the planetary energy at work here. Get all the facts before making a big move. Don’t cling to something needing to make an exit. Stay in the present. The past cannot be undone.
There is a lot of big energy around this moon. It’s time to be bold and put yourself out there. What action is needed over the next months to reach your goals of 2019? What lessons have you gained? It’s time to embrace your personal power and walk forward with confidence. You’ve got this!
Weekly Message
Full Moon in Capricorn And Partial Lunar Eclipse
On July 16, 2019 we experienced a partial lunar eclipse coinciding the start of a full moon phase in the zodiac sign of Capricorn. This cosmic event is also occurring while five planets are in retrograde, one of which being Saturn, who rules Capricorn.
This is the last eclipse of the year and will amplify the energy surrounding the full moon. Eclipses are known for eclipsing things out of our lives. With the ruler of karma, Saturn, in retrograde in its home sign, the practical hard working, Capricorn, exits will be bringing in much needed balance and calling due on karmic debts. What you have been putting out into the collective consciousness, will be coming back to roost.
Saturn also controls the archetype of the father and who has power, authority or control over us. A shift in who we perceive as authority and what has authority over our lives will be a focus.
Where have you been limiting yourself? What power or control are you freely giving away that is rightfully yours? Who old lies are you telling yourself as to why you cannot achieve your goals? What is keeping you chained and bound?
Capricorn energy is very straight forward and direct. As the oldest earth sign, Cappies are well grounded in practicality. You’ll be seeing where it’s time to turn off the nonsense and get real and honest with yourself and aspects of your life that are holding you back or need revisiting.
A heavy focus on career and your presentation to the world will come into focus. Am I doing what brings me joy? Are my efforts better served elsewhere? How I am contributing?
This energy will likely illuminate the areas where more work is needed and where you are stuck. It will also illuminate what it’s time to give up and let go of. Eclipse energy can often be sudden and unexpected. Relationships end. Lives pass on to the next plane. You may find you’ve totally lost interest in people, places, or things that you once greatly enjoyed. Capricorn energy is one of the most honest it the zodiac.
The endings that may be experienced are fated. It’s what you need to let go of, even if you may not feel ready to.
Weekly Spread
The Esoteric Nashvillian 