Tag: Mars

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Photo Credit-IG: Spiritual Enlightenment Quotes

The term “Self Care” has an association with bubble baths or indulgence in material comforts. Self Focus can sound selfish. However, Self Care and Self Focus are what make us thrive as individuals and is much more rooted in self empowerment and the reality in which we create.

For many of us, Self Focus sounds like a foreign idea, because its hard to think about ourselves.  Some of us have no idea what we want, how we feel, or, even, who we are. Many of us feel pulled in a million different directions with day to day life. Plus, the idea of making a change sounds terrifying. I was stuck in this mindset and pattern of thinking for many years.
I am a co-parenting mother of a seven year-old insurance/legal professional.  I graduated law school by the skin of my teeth in 2013, on the heals of my divorce from my son’s father. My son was one years-old. I had no immediate family in the state and had to juggle much on my own. I am a two time bar exam failure, third time success story as of 2020.
Beyond my failed marriage, I never had failed at anything in my life before the bar. I was a model student and fantastic employee. I worked hard and loved to learn. Failing the bar was a devastating blow to my self esteem and confidence. I knew the law well. I taught most of my study group concepts they struggled to understand. How could this have happened to me? Not to mention, the bar exam is only offered twice a year, and my legal assistant job, at that time, was barely paying the bills. My life had been on hold for the bar for over a year, and I was in no better position than when I sat for it the first time.
In 2015 I took a job in insurance for better pay and a change of landscape. I took to it quickly and excelled. It didn’t take long before I got bored, but comfortable.
From 2015 to 2019, I lived for 5 o’clock, Happy Hour and vacation time. I distracted myself from my feelings of dissatisfaction (among other things) with anything that could keep me preoccupied.  This started a period of my life where I simply lost passion, including for law. I climbed the corporate latter and experienced a lot of wins, but I felt a little dead inside.
It hit me in the Summer of 2019 that I was essentially one position away from “topping out” of my current area of insurance. The bar exam was never far from my mind, but the idea of even planning how to embark on that monstrous voyage- seemed impossible. However, I knew I would need to think about what next, sooner rather than later. As my child was getting older, and my circumstances were changing, I needed to think about expansion and what that looked like.
In the summer of 2019, I started to take baby steps toward the bar exam. I found some bar prep materials on Amazon, and a friend donated a lion-share of her prep materials upon successfully passing. At first, I didn’t really tell anyone that I was doing this- especially not my employer. The embarrassment of failing it again, and facing the entire world was of upmost avoidance. I studied in the evenings and on weekends.
Fate presented me with an opportunity to go to my last stop, in my realm of insurance. I am a remote or “work from home” employee, and just so happened to be in the office one day for a systems training, when I heard of a former colleague of mine was giving his notice.
The search for his replacement had not yet begun. I would get the first bite at the apple. The role my colleague was vacating, was the role for which I got into the insurance gambit, albeit my last stop.
The system training ended. I chatted with a few of my coworkers wherein I heard the news. I walked right into my old manager’s office, asked for the job, detailing my plan to take the bar exam. Therefore, suggesting that I do insurance related legal work for my company.
My secret, was no longer a secret. The pressure was on now. I had to get this done and it was going to take everything I had in me to do it. I have a very demanding job and I am a mom. I tapped into the resources in and around me. I woke up early and stayed up late.  From August 2019 until February 2020, I lived and breathed Bar Exam Prep Materials. I replaced television with Torts lectures and Facebook scrolling with Evidence Outlines.
The process of focusing on the one thing that I knew would give me the key to create the life I wanted for myself, was one of purification and cleansing. Bad habits and distractions fell away or had to take a back seat. I had to be highly diligent with my time. No, left my lips more than it ever had before. Social niceties for the sake of nice became unimportant. Further, I had to recognize the people in my life that took more than they gave, and what that meant for me and our relationship. It showed me the ways I gave to get love, and how that in turn caused me to deeply resent people for not living up to my insatiable expectations, which caused disruption in my life.
Whatever I lost in those months of study, I gained back ten fold. Focusing on what I needed to do for myself to create a life I don’t have to escape from, was nothing more than a great act of self care.
Whatever your “bar exam” is, in your life, now is the time to go towards it. Whenever we set a new intention, start a new path, or embark on a new idea, the universe echoes back to us. The echo can come in the way of a redirection or opportunity. You could experience synchronicity and strokes of luck.  You will never know unless you try.
What if you dont know what your “bar exam” is? Now is a time to figure that out. What lights a fire inside of you? The thing that you do, that some call work, and,  you feel like its play, that is your purpose in this collective consciousness.
Its easy to tell ourselves that we can’t do it, we are too old, or we have too many responsibilities bogging us down. That’s not true and a lie we tell ourselves to keep ourselves stuck. The world needs your light more than ever before, so go towards your passion or sit with yourself to find what that it is.
Namaste.

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On July 31, 2019 (or August 1, 2019 depending on location) we will enter a new moon phase in the zodiac sign of Leo. All new moons are about planting seeds and new beginnings.  This moon is all about personal power and beginnings where that power is actualized. The Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars will all be in Leo during this moon, opening the door for fresh perspective, new action, and even new love. This is a bright and positive moon full of new possibilities. This new moon is a much needed breath of fresh air after the cosmic turbulence of multiple planetary retrogrades in July and the 2019 eclipse season.

Mercury went retrograde back on July 7th and will be stationing direct in the zodiac sign of Cancer on July 31st. Mercury retrograde is a well known cosmic event that can disrupt communications, plans, technology, and travel. The advice of a Mercury Retrograde season is about slowing down and reviewing and where we need re-direction. Mercury going direct coinciding this moon is a call to action. It is time to pick up where you left off at the end of June. What new action is needed on your goals after the mercury pause?

We are coming out the 2019 Eclipse season of July.  Eclipses are strong cosmic events that often remove people and things from our lives. This past eclipse season may have cleared a path and aided Pluto’s retrograde in decluttering your life.  This new moon gives us a clean slate to start anew.

The Sun rules Leo who represents “me” or “I” in the zodiac. It is an energy of our personal power and solar plexus chakra often represented by the king of the jungle- the lion. It is an energy about where we stand strong and where we can stand stronger. This is a very masculine go-getter energy.  Leo energy loves being noticed and taking the spotlight.  Leo energy is about standing tall, being true to yourself and values. Leo energy loves to bring people together and is often generous and loving. The Strength card in the tarot is the major arcana card representation of Leo. It is an energy about taming the beast within and overcoming tough emotions and doubt to achieve our goals. Leo, unevolved, can be very proud and attention seeking. He can also be overbearing and controlling. Be careful of pomp and circumstance just to protect your ego.

Venus moved into Leo in the latter part of July, the ruler of love, money, and aesthetic. This new moon may bring in new love or ignite passion in a long standing connection. You may feel a jolt of confidence and put yourself out there in a way you never have before. You may feel a bit extra. This is an aspect that pushes us to be bold in love-to take center stage. You may also be tempted to overindulge in the finer things and be more generous to your fellow man. Venus is also about higher learning and devotion. Your gestures of devotion may also be on the side of the dramatic.

Mars is the planet of action, war, and aggression. After the stalemate of Mercury Retrograding, this energy is a necessary propulsion to do what needs to be done to reach our goals.  Mars can be a harried and pushy energy. It can be a bit rash and impulsive. Mars can make people speak harshly and act in a way that is not well thought through.  Being in Leo, Mars may motivate you to rush towards a new opportunity that symbolizes your personal power. It may also push you to leap before you think.  However, Venus is a feminine energy that will help soften the Mars aspect to this moon, so you can take needed action that isn’t just out of impulse.

Uranus is in Taurus and will have a heavy aspect to this moon. Uranus shakes things up and disrupts established order. An event or situation may bubble up that challenges the status quo. This may seem unsettling or hard to digest, but Uranus is clearing away something stealing your personal power. With Uranus being in Taurus, who rules the second house of finances, the shakeup may have to do with spending or something consuming your coins that is hindering your personal power. Uranus energy can seem disruptive, but this planet is clearing a path for your highest good. Allow whatever it knocks down to pass out of your life. This is a necessary obstacle for you to work through.

Neptune and Chiron will also have aspects to this moon. Neptune energy is about dreams and spirituality. Neptune energy can be positive in that it lets us dream big, but he can also create confusion and cloud our judgement on what is realistic. Allow yourself to dream big, but don’t get too lost in fantasy or make a commitment that isn’t maintainable. With Chiron being in the mix, currently in Aries, areas of healing will come up for review. Chiron will aid in healing areas affecting personal power. What past pain or events are causing you self doubt? It’s time to see it as part of your story that has made you all the wiser. No more excuses.

Keep in mind the negative aspects of the planetary energy at work here. Get all the facts before making a big move. Don’t cling to something needing to make an exit. Stay in the present. The past cannot be undone.

There is a lot of big energy around this moon. It’s time to be bold and put yourself out there. What action is needed over the next months to reach your goals of 2019? What lessons have you gained? It’s time to embrace your personal power and walk forward with confidence. You’ve got this!

 

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On June 17, 2019 in the early morning we will enter a full moon phase in the zodiac sign of Sagittarius. This moon was called the “Thunder Moon” by some native Americans. Like any full moon, the moon will be at its brightest point in its transit.  It is a symbol of harvest and culmination of our efforts. With the sun in the late part of its time in Gemini, Jupiter retrograding squaring Neptune in Pisces, and Mars in Cancer opposing Saturn, this will be a moon of big plans, focus on self, expansion, vulnerability, heavy pondering, and conversation.

Sagittarius is a mutable fire sign ruled by Jupiter that is about adventure and looking past what is just beyond into the unknown. The archetype of this sign is the archer.  He can change course to follow his prey, but has the dedication to track it for execution. He can be blunt and direct.    Sagittarius can see the bigger picture, but can also have many highs and many lows.  He can be quick tempered, yet methodical and wise. He can be spontaneous, but reliable.

Mutable signs are changeable and adaptable. Fire signs are passionate and head full force towards what thrills them in the moment. Jupiter is the planet of luck, growth, and expansion. He brings a deeper understanding to help ground the fiery limitless thrill seeker of Sagittarius. With Jupiter retrograding, there will be a full circle energy surrounding certain areas of life. There be a feeling of needed change and how to make that possible. Change may come without our doing, but it brings a sense of coming full circle.

Neptune will be in its home sign of Pisces during this moon squaring Jupiter retrograding  in Sagittarius. Pisces is a very dreamy sign and can be prone to illusion and as a water sign, has deep emotions. Neptune symbolizes dreams, illusion, and spiritual enlightenment.  However, Neptune can represent deceit, trickery, and naivety, which are also characteristics of un-evolved Pisces.  This square can make us dream big and shoot for what seems impossible. This square can also make us unrealistic and prone to fantasy. You may feel more drawn to spiritual practice around this time. This energy also can act as a removal energy. Something needs to go to actually attain these dreams.

Mars will be in Cancer opposing Saturn during this full moon. Mars is a planet about action and aggression. It adds restlessness. Mars wants to drive forward. Cancer is a water sign that is highly sensitive, highly connected to family and very loyal.  Mars in Cancer likely can create disruption in the family dynamic or leaving us feeling extremely vulnerable and sensitive in connection to familial relationships. Saturn represents the father in astrology. Saturn also represents boundaries and established order. Saturn gives us structure. This opposition and these aspects, there may be a dispute arising out of day to day life or even among governing bodies. There may be a challenge of accepted authority.  There may be a major shift in a relationship with a family member or where you lack boundaries and need more order.  It may be time to quick a habit that is impacting important parts of your life. There may be an area you need more discipline.

Between the moon’s time in Sagittarius and it’s transit into Capricorn, it will be considered “Void of Course.” Being void of course there will be a big shift between seeing this big picture and dreaming big and pushing you into acting on those realizations. There will be a momentum building during this moon.

This Thunder moon is  the precipice of  major change. It is the rumble before the lightning strike. Something likely come full circle and a deeper realization may be obtained when it comes to self and family relationships. Some new individual truths will be realized.

The sun is in the later part of Gemini, but is mostly not attached to any one sign this moon. It is going to be Peregrine, put simply, it is not heavily aspected.  The sun represents self, so a self centered focus may be prevalent around this moon. This can bring a heavy sense of independence and feeling ungrounded. You may feel more focused on self improvement or what needs changing in your day to day habits. How do you fit into the grander scheme of things? You may be just a little selfish too and hungry for the spotlight.

The affect of Gemini will still play heavy with this moon. Gemini is ruled by mercury which is the planet of communication. You may feel “stuck in your head,” this moon having a back and forth conversation with yourself with the un-hinged sun. People may speak bigger and loftier than they really mean with the affect of Neptune. Words and thoughts can be a major trigger for change during this moon. There may be a lot of harsh and emotional communication. This is a good time to read between the lines of what others are communicating. Words are hard to take back once spoken.

There is a vision and idea we want to see realized by year’s end. This moon will give us the ideas to reach that goal, what needs to change, but it may seem difficult to be patient and put in the work until the moon moves into Capricorn. Write down your ideas. Focus on which goals are easily in your reach and go from there. Be realistic with yourself and others. This is also a time of finding out how we really feel and coming to terms with those emotions.

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On June 3, 2019 we will enter a new moon phase in the zodiac sign of Gemini. Like all new moons, this is a season for planting seeds. This is a time to start anew. This is a time to give it a spin. Its time to get up and go.

The energy surrounding this new moon is flipping a switch. There’s a buzz in the air.  There’s a sense of impending movement. The final bounce on the diving board.

June 2019 is a numerological 9 month. In Numerology, 9 represents a wrap up. Its that point when you have a birds eye of a subject and it’s various nuances. The point of understanding where you don’t get pigeonholed into one facet of something, but appreciate everything about it as a whole. It’s a place of mastery. Its right before a final completion or a test.

As a collective, we have moved into an energy of action. We get it now. Let’s do it and do it right. With this moon being in Gemini, and Mercury in Gemini still, there’s a sense of doing and also communicating.

Gemini is a mutable air sign ruled by Mercury. She loves to communicate and she loves to explore the deeper and higher notes. He is very outgoing and a great conversationalist. He can be a little hard to pin down, however. He tends to be more focused on “airy” logic and not so much emotion. Geminis are often called two faced or having two minds or two sides to them. They really just have a lot of thoughts and it’s hard for them to focus on something once it bores them and can vacillate. They like excitement. They like change. Unevolved, Gemini can be prone to gossip and flippancy. She represents the duality in us all and how to play with the dark and light energy. She also represents the battle of intellect and how we truly feel.

Mercury is still in Gemini until the middle of the week when she moves into Cancer.  This may be a week for a big conversation or communication on an idea or whatever new new you have in your head. I decided to start some kind of internet publication during last years Gemini new moon!

Overall, there’s a lot of ideas buzzing around. Some great, some not. Gemini rules mass communications so pay attention to what’s being reported and circulated. Check the finer details. This energy can also make us prone to discussing small minded things and maybe repeat something we know is false when we hear it just for conversation’s sake. With the energy of propulsion in the air, an ill advised verbal blowout may surface.

A little softness for all this air and wordiness, Venus, is in one of her home signs, Taurus, bringing in some grounding earth energy.  This energy will pull you towards something stable and safe. What feels like home? What fills your heart? However, Venus can be kind of Taurus’ devil on the bull’s shoulder. We need something down to earth this season, but it may come in the way of comforts too.  You may feel extra hungry. You may feel like indulging in all that feels good. You may feel like making your environment pretty. You may want to make a purchase that is a physical representation of your growth and abundance. The dance will be in how much of the impulsive air energy will you let overpower what is bringing you back down to earth? 

Among other planets, Jupiter is in retrograde still and it will have a calming energy to all this, bringing in a master’s approach and worldly understanding of where you are and where you have been. Jupiter will help us see the forest from the trees. It will help slow down that restless Gemini energy.

This new moon is a good time to set plans in motion for what you want to accomplish this summer or the rest of the year. Time to dream and take the physical steps.

 

 

 

 

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More

Never before
Did I love myself more
Even though my heart pleaded no
I cant deny what I know

Like mind and body
Could have swallowed me whole
All the ingredients for greatness
I was at the tip of a diving board

Yet..
No water would catch me
No matter how long
No matter what pressure
I placed on the watering hose

I can’t continue to reach for a hand
Or a heart that isn’t mine to hold

I deserve more. pexels-photo-2067122.jpeg

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On March 6, 2019 we will enter a New Moon Phase in the zodiac sign of Pisces. This moon is going to be a new beginning on a deeper level- to bring in greater healing and understanding of ourselves and others. This moon is also coinciding a Mercury Retrograde and Uranus moving into the zodiac sign Taurus. These energies along with aspects to Neptune, Saturn, and Mars will bring in a deep sense of who we are and where our spiritual growth has brought us.

Pisces is a water sign ruled by Neptune. She is highly compassionate, sensitive, and often highly intuitive and spiritual. She is very giving and loyal-often sacrificing her own needs for those of others. Pisces loves to dream and tends to have a very optimistic point of view. However if un-evolved, Pisces can over-give, play the martyr, and be detached from reality.

In the Tarot, Pisces is represented by The Moon card of the major arcana.  This card represents subconscious, illusion, and the messages our dreams are trying to tell us. An overarching theme to this new moon will be attention to the inner voice that is demanding to be heard.  It is also about breaking down illusion and walking away from areas of life that we have become dillusioned. Pisces is also the last sign of the zodiac. Pisces season can signal final wrap-ups and endings. With all endings there are always beginnings.

What old stories keep bubbling up that cause destruction in your conscious awareness? What is it you need to let go of? What is it that you need to heal?

This moon will be conjunct to Neptune, which will also square Saturn.  Neptune rules Pisces and is a planet about spiritual enlightenment and spiritual yearning.  You may feel more in tune with the world around you and feel desire for more. A deeper understanding of yourself and where we hide our deepest shame and disappointment may come to the surface as well.

The square to Saturn will feel like a bit of conflicting energy to Neptune and Pisces.  Saturn energy is somewhat opposite of the dreamy spiritual focus of Neptune-he is all about practical matters and physical reality.  This aspect will push us to look deeper and question what is beyond the daily grind of life.  We may find areas of our lives where we are bored and needing to be revitalized.

There will also be an aspect to Mars pushing us to take action on these areas to make needed changes. Mars can be aggressive and assertive, but Pisces and Neptune will add some love and calm to this harsh energy. It will guide and facilitate Mars in a compassionate way- giving you the courage to take a leap of faith-say what needs to be said, and let go of hurtful and toxic cycles without judgment and blaming.

Uranus will be moving into Taurus during this New Moon phase. Uranus was in Taurus for a brief period in 2018 before retrograding into Aries, but will be in Taurus until 2025 beginning around this new moon.  Uranus is a planet of revolution, break-ups and shake ups. In Uranus’ brief visit in Taurus last year, the world began to explore alternative currencies such as crypto currency. When Uranus was last in Taurus, the world experienced the Great Depression and the beginning of World War II. Despite, the strife incurred in that period of history, it forced world governments to enact ground breaking legislation and infrastructure to aid flailing economies and poverty. Remember the New Deal?

Mercury Retrograde is a famous astrological event causing disruptions in communication, technology, and relationships that happens multiple times a year. This new moon also coincides the beginning of this retrograde season.  Mercury in retro forces us to slow down and pay attention to intuition, which is what Pisces is all about.  Areas of miscommunication and conflict may arise around areas of needed deeper healing in our relationships and relationship to self. Pay attention to conflicts and situations that arise. Words can have muddled meaning in this season. The challenge will be to focus on what you feel more over what is said. Words may hold confusion and illusion. Often with retrogrades, the past may resurface in varying forms.

The energies around this moon will be intense, but will give us clarity to heal relationships, old shame and pain. Its time to graduate- coming out on the other side with greater understanding and clarity. Pay attention to what comes back from the past with Mercury as this may be an area you need to tie up loose ends. Uranus moving into Taurus will no doubt bring about unexpected changes, but it is part of a greater evolution individually and in the collective.